So in the interest of helping out fellow farmers and gardeners, here’s our guide to interpreting the real meaning of all that flowery language in your vegetable catalogs:“Prolific.”50/50 chance that you either get a nice decent supply of the crop, or that you get so much of the crop that your CSA members begin to threaten to shove it back where it came from or start a petition against it. (sorry, guys)“Might self-seed.”Definitely, for sure, and completely a 100% probability that everyone of the 400 million seeds created by this crop will come back and choke out all other living entities on that piece of ground for centuries. See: husk cherries, tomatillos, some tomatoes, and that unidentified flower that we grew in 2013 that never seemed to form a flower, yet somehow produced seedlings that keep regenerating today.“Needs a long season.”Won’t produce fruit north of the Mason Dixon line, but will grow big enough to smother out the hardworking and producing crops next to it, while convincing even the most hardened skeptic of a farmer that surely it will produce fruit next week, right? Aka, why we have sadly stopped trying to grow sweet potatoes up here in Fenner.“Commercial standard.”90% odds that it tastes like cardboard. See also:“Better Flavor than other Varieties.”We don’t want to emphasize this, but all our other varieties of this crop taste like cardboard.“Fancy,” “Elegant,” or “Parisian.”These fruits are going to be just enough smaller than other varieties to become a complete PITA to harvest, leading to fights among the crew over who has to pick them, which generally end up in comparison of hand sizes and forcing the smallest handed person into a harvest season of misery. (Matt always gets out of these, not that I’m bitter or anything!)